There is only one cause of all problems and that one cause is embodied in one particular natural law.

That law is the law of OPPOSITES

Webster defines ‘opposites’ as, ‘elements that are so far apart and diverse as to be totally irreconcilable; extreme divergence; in clear and unequivocal diametric opposition’.

Look around you, take an objective view at the world; at your every activity, everything you do and everything that comprises the world in which you live and do business. Notice how opposites abound everywhere.

We have up and down, left and right, profit and loss, freedom and bondage, positive and negative, assets and liabilities, love and hate, true and false and on and on and on. We could go on forever. It would be difficult to imagine anything that does not have an implied opposite.

We live in a world of duality where every situation and circumstance is challenged by some implied opposite; a world where ‘twoness’ prevails, where one side is always pulling against another or pushing up against a wall that will not yield. We live in a world of constant struggle between opposing ‘forces’, ideologies, values and false teaching where even the ‘experts’ don’t agree. People are being torn apart trying to find stability by justifying two opposites that, by their very nature and definition, cannot possibly be justified one to the other. The net result is anxieties, pressures, worries and fears.

Adherence to the law of opposites is the cause of all problems.

If we could somehow prevent this law from operating in our individual experiences, we would no longer suffer from its devastating effects and we would be living in a world where problems would have no influence over us. It would be a world of stability where we would enjoy unopposed harmonious personal and professional success, prosperity and freedom.

It’s fair to say that problems are negative and the answers or solutions are positive. They are opposites and cannot coexist. A negative problem cannot exist without there being an existing positive answer or solution to be negative about.

The universe is controlled and maintained by universal, irreversible, natural laws and principles. These positive natural laws and principles are defined by Webster, as ‘the creative and controlling forces of the universe’ which, by their very nature, cannot abider anything unlike itself.

If negative problems were supported by ‘the creative and controlling forces of the universe’ they would be fixed and permanent and could never be resolved. A problem and its solution can no more coexist than light can coexist with darkness. We must see that any ‘problem’ is not a real condition to be overcome but is simply the UN-awareness pr ignorance of the answer or solution which already exists in the infinitude of ‘the creative and controlling forces of the universe’.

When faced with a problem, must learn to resist the temptation treat it as real ’something’ with which we must do battle. This is the commonly accepted confrontational approach to problem solving that produces more frustrations than solutions. It is the cause of all pressures, anxieties and conflict.

The only way to invoke the ‘creative and controlling forces of the universe’ in your personal and professional experience is to totally embrace them to the exclusion of all else. When diligently applied, this positive MINDSET, which Webster defines as, ‘a fixed way of thinking that determines and influences events and circumstances’, will dissolve problems as surely as light destroys darkness.

This is a radical departure from traditionally accepted methods but for more than 50 years as a creative consultant, with particular expertise in problem solving, I have proven its validity in my own personal life and to the benefit of a widely diverse client base that has included many of the giants of American business.

For more than 50 years, Davis Goss has been a creative consultant with particular expertise in problem solving. His latest book, ‘The Science of LIVING BETTER FOREVER’ outlines the details of his unique problem solving techniques base solely on scientific, natural laws and principles.

www.livingbetterforever.com

E-mail: davisgos@tds.net

A lot of people look at what their lives lack and then determine that lack to be the problem. They see a lack of positive things happening to them and therefore think that if more positive things happened to them, then life would be so much better.

This format of ‘looking at lack’ is most prevalent in financial categories. People see a lack of finances and really believe that lack of money is the problem. They say things like, ‘If I had more money; if I was out of debt; if I could just earn more money…’ They then conclude, ‘Not having enough money is the problem in my life.’

What so many fail to realize is that lack is not the problem. Lack in your life is never the problem! Lack is merely the effect of something going on inside the mind.

If you plant a carrot seed into the ground, what is in the ground? A carrot seed. So what will the result be? A corn stalk filled with sweet corn? A beautiful tomato plant filled with red tomatoes? No. The carrot seed will produce carrots. If you put a chicken in the oven to bake, when it’s time to take it out of the oven, what do you have? A nice plump golden brown turkey? A delicious juicy ham? No. If you put a chicken in the oven to bake, then that’s what you are going to take out, a chicken.

Now I know these may sound like really silly illustrations, but I use them to make a very serious point. What is on the outside is a very good reflection of what’s going on inside. I recently saw part of a program on TV about real estate. The man speaking is extremely successful in the real estate business. Perhaps you’ve heard of him. His name is Robert Kiyosaki.

One of the statements that Mr. Kiyosaki made was really terrific. He told his audience about the most valuable piece of real estate on earth. Do you know where it is?

He said that this particular piece of real estate is more valuable than any other property you could own. It’s not a very big piece of real estate either. Where is it? Mr. Kiyosaki said it is the piece of real estate just above your nose. This successful man knows that what’s going on inside your mind is vitally important to what’s going to happen on the outside.

But sadly, most people look at the lack in their lives as being the problem. Lack in your life is never the problem. Stop looking at the lack and take a good honest look at what’s going on inside your own mind. What is your mindset?

You are certainly free to focus on your lack and just accept it. That is a possible mindset, and that’s your privilege. You can focus on all your limitations and excuses and just accept that. That is also a mindset. You have free will to that if you want to.

A better choice is to focus your mental attention on your desires and destinations in life. You can picture in your mind who you really desire to be and where you really desire to go. That too is a mind set. You have the free will to think that way if you choose to.

What you focus your mind on is what you will bring into your life. It is a tried and true principle of life that works just like the law of gravity. If there is lack in your life, then refuse to focus on that lack and refuse to accept that lack. Instead, make a conscious decision to start focusing on your desired destination.

God never intended for people to lack. He has promised abundance in every category of life. The Bible declares that God will supply and that He will give you the desires of your heart. But, He will not overstep your free will.

It is up to you to stay clear, concerned, and focused on the things that you desire; the things that He has promised you. As you do so, you will receive His blessings.

Michael has a free newsletter called, THE PEP LETTER, at http://www.christianinspirationalgifts.com/pepletter.html. Michael is a husband, father, minister, author, and broadcaster. He has been the voice on numerous productions over the years.

Listen to one of Michael A. Verdicchio’s Pep Talks at http://www.MikesPepTalks.com/christians2free.html

Could it be that the extent of Satan\’s existence in this world is limited to that portion of ourselves that we, in our weaker moments, open up to sometimes reveal to others around us? Might he just be a plaguing, vexing spirit inside of us, a part of ourselves that we fight against while always trying to forever keep our eye on the prize until the end of this system of things? Is that our Satan, is that all he really is to us, just that what we find inside of us?

The Bible tells us this is not the case. If we look in the Book of Job, chapter 1, verses 6-12, we see it reads:

“Now it came to be the day when the sons of the [true] God entered to take their station before Jehovah, and even Satan proceeded to enter right among them. 7 Then Jehovah said to Satan: “Where do you come from?” At that Satan answered Jehovah and said: “From roving about in the earth and from walking about in it.” 8 And Jehovah went on to say to Satan: “Have you set your heart upon my servant Job, that there is no one like him in the earth, a man blameless and upright, fearing God and turning aside from bad?” 9 At that Satan answered Jehovah and said: “Is it for nothing that Job has feared God? 10 Have not you yourself put up a hedge about him and about his house and about everything that he has all around? The work of his hands you have blessed, and his livestock itself has spread abroad in the earth. 11 But, for a change, thrust out your hand, please, and touch everything he has [and see] whether he will not curse you to your very face.” 12 Accordingly Jehovah said to Satan: “Look! Everything that he has is in your hand. Only against him himself do not thrust out your hand!” So Satan went out away from the person of Jehovah.”

And now, if we look at Chapter 2, at verses 1 through 7. There it reads:

“Afterward it came to be the day when the sons of the [true] God entered to take their station before Jehovah, and Satan also proceeded to enter right among them to take his station before Jehovah. 2 Then Jehovah said to Satan: “Just where do you come from?” At that Satan answered Jehovah and said: “From roving about in the earth and from walking about in it.” 3 And Jehovah went on to say to Satan: “Have you set your heart upon my servant Job, that there is no one like him in the earth, a man blameless and upright, fearing God and turning aside from bad? Even yet he is holding fast his integrity, although you incite me against him to swallow him up without cause.” 4 But Satan answered Jehovah and said: “Skin in behalf of skin, and everything that a man has he will give in behalf of his soul. 5 For a change, thrust out your hand, please, and touch as far as his bone and his flesh [and see] whether he will not curse you to your very face.” 6 Accordingly Jehovah said to Satan: “There he is in your hand! Only watch out for his soul itself!” 7 So Satan went out away from the person of Jehovah and struck Job with a malignant boil from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head.”

Having read these 2 portions of scripture from Job, we see that Jehovah is having a couple in-depth conversations with Satan. Now, if we only think of Satan as that evil within us, then we must believe that Jehovah was conversing with himself, mulling over some great dilemma in his mind. Yet in Psalms 92, verse 15, it says, “To tell that Jehovah is upright. [He is] my Rock, in whom there is no unrighteousness.” Therefore, if Satan is not part of Jehovah\’s character, as some people might think he is part of theirs, and if Jehovah is talking to Satan, Satan must therefore be a separate and unique entity.

This is also brought out in Luke, Chapter 4, verses1-13, where we see the Devil striving to tempt Jesus to do his bidding. Now, if Jesus was as we believe him to be, sinless, blameless and perfect, then we must therefore believe that Satan could not be dwelling within him and that only as this separate, unique spirit creature could Satan have ever tried to tempt Jesus at any time.

It is for us then to remember, through these scriptures, that the whole world is in the hands of the Wicked One and his minions, and has been for millennia now. This can be attested to by the miserable condition of the world, brought about by an evil who has roamed the earth looking for trouble to cause. Our only hope of surviving this very real evil creature and the snares he has set out for us is to maintain the love and faith we hold for our Lord Jehovah and forever hold out for that prize of everlasting life.

http://getthedirtonmlm.org

I threw my hands into the air making exploding noises as my super hero grandchildren giggled in anticipation of their next attack. They were on a crusade to stop the evil grandma villain from destroying the world. Almost five year old Samuel, dressed in his Spiderman towel pretended to cast webs while three year old batman Paige ran full force flinging herself into my arms. Eighteen month Sophia wrapped in her princess towel, aimlessly mimicked whichever super hero captured her attention.

Giggles and laughter filled the room as they begged me to continue to play with them. I loved my grandchildren very much and I would do anything for them and if it meant I had to be the villain then I was going to be the best baddie I could be.

When I was a young mother I always dreamed that I would be the kind of mom that would bring fun and adventure into my children\’s lives. I wanted to take them on safaris while teaching them how to enjoy all the things the world had to offer. I wanted to be there for them in church, school, activities, and anything their hearts desired.

My greatest wish was to give my children a warm, loving and safe world, but when you live in a teaching world sometimes the best of intentions can be thwarted. I guess that is the reason I feel it\’s so important to share what happened to me in life with as many people possible so they can learn from my experience.

When my children were ages 6, 9, and 11, in 1987 their father and I went through a very bad divorce. It was a divorce that involved our church, family, and society in a tug-of-war that escalated with me being totally cut off from my children. Before this time I had lived a perfect Christian life with the admiration of all who met me.

It all began one day when I was praying in church for a friend with a terminal heart condition. A supernatural thing happened to me resulting in her healing. It was an experience that led me down a path I would have never traveled if it hadn\’t been for God telling me through supernatural messages that it was right. These messages taught me things I would have never understood unless I went through the worst thing that ever happened to me. I fell in love with a woman and now I was condemned as a perverted homosexual sinner.

Today\’s church teaches about sin and has no tolerance for those who sin against their doctrines. They even take it as far as cutting off anyone that is gay, gets a divorce, has an extra marital affair, has had an abortion, drinks too much or just breaks one of the multitudes of sins described in the Bible! As a result most churches today have a reputation of judgment.

I was raised under these principles that declare that if you sin then you are not one of us. Unfortunately the present day church skipped over the most important lesson that each person of the world needed to understand, grace.

When Adam and Eve were tempted to eat the apple and they did, they brought sin into the world. Satan became the evil god of this world and as a result people became the players in a spiritual war that taught them the difference between good and bad through real life experiences.

In order to gain knowledge you must be presented with good and evil. You must also have rules when you play the game of life. In the Old Testament the Laws were the formula that each player was to follow in order to win, but in the New Testament everything changed with the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ brought forgiveness by dying for the sins of people. Suddenly it was no longer about what you did in order to succeed in the game of life, now it was all about grace.

Grace means that we no longer have to work our way to Heaven. Grace gives us the freedom to make mistakes. Grace means that when we place our faith in Jesus Christ as our Savior and Lord we are forgiven for all of our sins. The best thing about grace is when we fail we can start our game of life all over again.

Romans 5: 12-14, “Sin came into the world through one man, and his sin brought death with it. As a result, death has spread to the whole human race because everyone has sinned. There was sin in the world before the Law was given; but where there is no law, no account is kept of sins. But from the time of Adam to the time of Moses death ruled over all mankind, even over those who did not sin in the same way that Adam did when he disobeyed God\’s command.”

God spoke to me supernaturally just like He did to many people in the Bible. He knew that making me gay was going to pit me against the beliefs I was taught in the Bible. He knew in order for me to stand up to my church, society, and family that He would have to teach me just exactly how grace changes the rules in the great game of life.

The most important rule you must learn is who is God. God is love and if we love we do God\’s will. Loving is a sign that God is in it.

When I fell in love with a woman it completely changed what I thought sin was all about. Because I loved Tori, the love I felt for her made the persecutions I suffered from the church bearable. Our love was so strong that it gave us the strength we needed to stand up to everyone who told us we were sinning before God.

God explained to me that “His ways are not human ways.” From the moment I was young it was instilled within my very conscious how I was to be faithful to God. It was a formula of laws and how following them would help me to work my way to heaven, but when I loved a woman instead of a man, I had to change the way I thought. I had to understand the power of grace.

Romans 5: 14c-16, “Adam was a figure of the one who was to come. But the two are not the same, because God\’s free gift is not like Adam\’s sin. It is true that many people died because of the sin of that one man. But God\’s grace is much greater, and so is his free gift to so many people through the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ. And there is a difference between God\’s gift and the sin of one man. After the one sin, came the judgment of \’Guilty\’; but after so many sins, comes the undeserved gift of \’Not guilty\’!”

This means that the rules for the game of life changed. No longer are we subject to the law, now we are free to make mistakes. For instance young people are easily trapped into marrying the wrong person because they don\’t understand the difference between lust and love. It is only after time that they realize the person didn\’t love them at all. So when there is grace they are free to get divorced.

Satan uses the things of the world to tempt people and lead them from God. Jesus takes the temptations that lead to sin and cancelled the crime by forgiving sin. When sin is forgiven then we can start our game of life over again and again.

Romans 5: 18&19, “So then, as the one sin condemned all mankind, in the same way the one righteous act sets all mankind free and gives them life. And just as all people were made sinners as the result of the disobedience of one man, in the same way they will all be put right with God as the result of the obedience of the one man.”

Being gay was the worst thing that ever happened to me, but it was also the best thing that happened to me. It humbled me and showed me that I could not win my game of life without Jesus. Being gay took away my pride and taught me the difference between right and wrong by teaching me the principle of grace. It helped me to understand the power of love. It helped me to stop being judgmental. It changed me into God\’s servant. It helped me to listen to the Holy Spirit and to do God\’s will in my life, because I was no longer allowing people to tell me what God\’s will was for me.

My grandchildren love to play super heroes because it teaches them to do what is right. But God uses our inability to save ourselves to teach us how much we need Him in order to win our game of life. We are destined to fail, but with God\’s help we will win.

Linda C Dipman author of THE GAME OF LIFE IT\’S ALMOST OVER http://outskirtspress.com/gameoflife presents AND HIS LOVE SHONE DOWN my true life story! It describes all the persecutions I endured. It will put you on the edge of your seat as you read each vivid detail. You will feel terror and experience love like nothing you have ever read before. http://lovinghandsministry.com

What do you want your year to be like? Do you want it to include more of some things? More happiness, fitness, fun… Do you want it to include less of some things? Less sitting at your desk, working too late, debt…

Pause for a moment to tap into the magic of what this year could be for you. Before racing toward your goals, consider this question: What flavor, texture or theme do you want the year to represent?

Here\’s how to capture your theme for the New Year. Imagine life and work unfolding in the days and months to come. Then choose one word to encompass the whole year. A word that pulls you out of bed each morning and motivates you to embrace the day.

Take Sarah, for example. A few years ago she chose the word “enriched” as her theme. At the time, she faced tough challenges. A fellow tenant in a shared office suite appeared to be on the edge of a nervous breakdown. He went into daily rants and rages, terrifying all of his office mates. The police were called on at least one occasion.

Sarah and her office mates rallied together to strategize and offer each other daily support. They made sure no one was ever alone with the man. They jointly asked the manager to evict him.

But because the man stayed in the office for a few more weeks, Sarah needed something to anchor her so she wouldn\’t get lost in a turbulent sea. Her theme emerged - “enriched.” On the surface, she didn\’t consider her work circumstances enriching. But picking a theme calmed her down. It gave her hope that her work life could be that way again.

It took some discipline to even whisper the word “enriched” each day - and on a few days she chucked the word right out the window. But mostly she stuck to saying the word “enriched” continuously throughout the day.

Sarah did pull through the situation. After some prompting, the man finally agreed to leave. The locks were changed immediately. Sarah didn\’t even mind too much when she arrived at work the Monday after the man\’s departure and the office was completely bare. He\’d taken everything with him - from chairs to shelves, plants and paper clips. Everything. A client of Sarah\’s arrived five minutes later. So, she offered the lone fold-up chair she\’d found in the hallway, and sat on a crate herself. Humbling, yes, but also freeing. Sarah remembers: “In that moment, I felt truly enriched. Like I could handle anything. Who cares if I had to suck it up and sit on a milk crate? It was over. He was gone and I moved on with my day.” After the client left, Sarah settled into the quiet calm that softened the office.

Even during adversity, your theme can make your year better. Another professional singled out the word “dimension” for her year. Why? She wanted to experience more depth and fun with her ordinary, everyday tasks. So when she sets out to write a business report, why not write it at the beach since she lives in a tropical place! My editor sent me her theme today inspired from this article: “investment.” From dictionary.com she chose this meaning: “A devoting, using, or giving of time, talent, emotional energy, etc., as for a purpose or to achieve something.” Ready to create your own theme?

What word pops to mind as your theme for the year? Try this three-step process to define your inspired theme for the year.

1. Select Your Theme

Dream up two or three possible theme words for the year. Pick unusual words that you don\’t use often. Write them down quickly and intuitively - don\’t think too much about it! If your brain freezes, try some of these words: Inspired. Extraordinary. Uplifted. Enriched. Intentional. Divine. Spontaneous. Graceful. Playful. Monumental. If a thousand people pick the same word, that\’s OK. Each of you will bring your own personal flair to that theme. Now, narrow your short list down to a single word.

2. Define Your Theme

Once you\’ve selected your theme, define what it means to you. Look the word up. Try a site such as dictionary.com to gain a fresh perspective on the different meanings. For example, consider the word “spontaneous.” When you look it up you\’ll find the standard definitions about doing things in the moment and being unplanned. But scan further and another definition emerges: “Growing naturally or without cultivation, as plants and fruits; indigenous” (http://www.dictionary.com). As you define your word, imagine what it would actually look, feel and sound like for this word to spice up your day-to-day life.

3. Live Your Theme

Just as if you\’ve tucked this word into your pocket, live your theme every day. Say it first thing in the morning. Repeat it often during the day, especially if you feel stressed. Of course, life will deal you what it deals you. When setbacks occur you may want to put your theme temporarily aside. Or you might discover you can find your theme even in challenging life experiences. Whatever you face, allow your theme to bring forth what you desire most in the days ahead.

Take time now to complete this three-step exercise. Remember - select, define and live your inspired theme. Create a compelling theme and then step into the year with a refreshing focus.

And are you ready to learn more about how to turn your goals into reality?

Then “[N]aked Desk” author Sue Brenner invites you to visit http://www.suebrenner.com to get access to her free success tele-seminars.

Nothing is better than feeling great! It takes a little bit of work, though, to look and feel fabulous! We know it can be difficult to get in that get-to-it kind of attitude, so we are going to make sure that you have the tools to take control over that lazy, little voice we all hear in our heads once in a while!

1. It\’s all about setting goals and writing them down! Try writing your goal on a piece of paper, and post it where you can see it everyday. We all know that when we think about that load of laundry that needs done, it takes us longer to do it. When we see it posted on the refrigerator large and clear, we are much faster to get it out of the way!

2. Make a contract and SIGN IT. It is proven that when you have a written and signed contract with yourself you are much more likely to follow through.

3. Tell your friends and family. When other people are involved, you have support you can turn to when you don\’t feel like pushing through. Even one person can make a bigger difference than you think.

4. Find a buddy! Try and talk someone into setting goals with you. You would probably enjoy going to the gym more if you had a friend or relative along, also, you are less likely to skip your sessions!

5. Be realistic. You aren\’t going to achieve results in just a few days. Give yourself a realistic timeline, and write it on the calendar. Track your progress week by week. It takes much time and effort to lose inches, eat a healthier diet, and get over habits. Don\’t give up if you aren\’t changing instantly! Keep working and it will come!

6. Reward yourself! Setting goals to reach your big goal and treat yourself every time you meet a mini goal. If one of your mini goals is to go to the gym 8 times in a two week period, go get that new book or new pair of shoes you saw while out and about! You deserve it!

7. Last but not least, have fun! You are going to come up against obstacles, but you can\’t give up every time something gets a bit challenging. You have to have a good time and keep a light, but tough spirit. When it\’s all over, you will feel so great for reaching your final goal!

Danielle Siebenaler

For more info visit http://www.thebodyconnect.com !

Nothing creates a greater sense of optimism than accomplishment. And optimism is one of the core beliefs and attitudes of successful people. It\’s estimated that only 30 percent of our population are optimists, but that the majority of successful people are optimists. That estimate says that the better chance of accomplishment and success lies with the optimists.

Ask yourself these questions: When you entered into a commitment with a sense of enthusiasm and conviction, what were your accomplishments? When you entered into a commitment with hesitation, with a sense that it wouldn\’t work out well, what did you accomplish? Then ask yourself which of these two approaches you follow most often.

If your response was hesitation and the possibility of failure, chances are that you\’re missing opportunities to succeed - and accomplishment is the only real security any of us have. Read on to find ways to strengthen your ability to seek out and accomplish more in your life - in every part of it.

If your response was enthusiasm and conviction, read on for ways you can share those attitudes and beliefs with the people around you.

Here are nine recommendations:

One -Accomplishment requires putting yourself in your discomfort zone - a place where you\’re not secure, where you have to learn and challenge yourself. The comfort zone is the danger zone - much more dangerous than taking risk. Staying in the comfort zone keeps people from ever knowing their real abilities and worth.

Two -Accomplishment comes in many forms. It can range from a small triumph to a huge one, but what\’s important is that the person doing the accomplishing sees it for what it is.

Three - View situations as opportunities first. This is a real challenge for people used to thinking in terms of negative consequences. But if your first thoughts are negative, the chances of passing on real opportunity are very high. Sometimes the best thing to do with those opportunities you grabbed is to drop them - but if you don\’t act in the now to get them, you don\’t have a choice - they\’re gone.

Four - Accomplishment likes action - action now. Accomplishment likes ownership - standing up and taking responsibility for a situation.

Five - Be able to see your accomplishments when they happen. This might seem like a no - brainer - it isn\’t. For many people. their accomplishments are taken for granted - by them. They don\’t see their unique abilities and strengths as anything special, and so what could have been a positive reinforcement of their own personal worth and ability, goes unnoticed - by them and by others.

Six - Create goals in order to define accomplishment. State them positively - in terms of gain. Create your own personal goal culture and communicate your goals to others.

Seven - Realize that fear and doubt are as normal as breathing - they won\’t go away - they will be with you every day. Enlist fear and doubt as allies. The ability to wake up every morning, deal with fear of failure, and move forward is a quality of successful people. For more on this, read Steven Pressfield\’s excellent book, The War Of Art.
Eight - Understand everyone else, regardless how self assured they appear, has the same doubts and concerns that you have. Know that what you are going through on the path to accomplishment is shared by others. Know you\’re not alone in these emotions, but are part of what successful people experience every day.

Nine - See yourself as worthy of the rewards of your efforts. See your accomplishments for what they are - an affirmation of your ability to achieve. Make those subconscious two beliefs that almost all of us share - that we are not worthy; that we are not able - shrink to nothing through personal action and accomplishment

Start today - grab a hold of some situation, project, challenge, and make it your own. Then make it happen. The possibilities are endless. But the one guaranteed outcome will be a more positive feeling about yourself earned through achievement- and isn\’t that a huge part of optimism?

Andy Cox is President of Cox Consulting Group LLC. The focus of his work is on helping organizations and their people increase their success in the hiring, developing and enhancing the performance of leaders and emerging leaders. Cox Consulting Group LLC was started in 1995, and has worked with a wide range of organizations, managers and leaders - helping them define success, achieve success and make the ability to change a competitive advantage. He can be reached at http://coxconsultgroup.com

About four years ago, due to some challenging personal circumstances, I ended up reading some self-help books that helped me to get my mind focused. In fact, during the entire year of 2004, I grew in my awareness that I have the power to control my thoughts. Also, thoughts affect my daily experience, so i learned quickly to foster positive thoughts along with thoughts of compassion and goodwill.

Eventually, I found myself experiencing new people, places, and opportunities. Is this something that science can prove? Was it just coincidence? I think not. If we think positive thoughts, then people and experiences that also share in that positive energy will become part of us, and our daily experience. If we think of negative things, then negative people and experiences will become our lot. So, what is better, positive or negative thinking?

Obviously, positive thinking. For those of you who are new to affirmations, I highly recommend writing out your positive thought on paper or entering it into your mobile device to access it when needed. This will keep you focused and moving in your desired direction. In addition, I recommend that you write out the steps or thoughts that relate to the affirmation and the goal you are seeking. For example, you can write “I forgive my brother”.

Next, you should write down “I forgive my brother because he is facing some challenging moments in his life, so it is wrong for me to judge him and not consider his personal challenges.” Remember, the affirmation works best as you are able to get to the essence of matter. Then, you will experience mental clarity and true self empowerment as you move toward the goal you have set for yourself. Best Wishes, Keith Johnson, M.S. Education, Author, “365 Great Affirmations”

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.” - Lily Tomlin

Last week when I wrote about things to do at work when you\’re bored out of your skull, a number of readers wrote about having the opposite problem: they\’re too busy to be bored.

Some of them seemed a bit overwhelmed by their workdays, and so I decided to share ways to create a more peaceful workday. One where you can allow yourself to be more relaxed and happier.

The first step is the realization that you are in control of your day. You can create the perfect workday, if you\’re willing to start from scratch.

For some people, that may mean taking some tough steps, if their boss or their workplace is very controlling about how they do their work. For example, you might talk to your boss about restructuring your workday. It might also mean looking for a new job that\’s more flexible, if you\’re not happy with the way things are. Or it might just mean picking the tips below that work best for you and living with a certain amount of stress. Do what works for you!

For me, a perfect workday incorporates many of the tips below, but never all of them at once. I use a combination of strategies to ensure that most of my days are fairly relaxed. Do I still get stressed? Undoubtedly. But it\’s a far less frequent thing than in the past.

Here\’s how I do it.

1. Do less. Those of you who know me by now saw this one coming. It\’s very difficult to have a relaxed workday if you have too much going on. Instead, learn to reduce what you do, but choose the most impactful tasks and projects - the ones that will mean the most over the long term. I choose three important things to achieve each day, as I\’ve said before. Those are the three things I can do today that will have the most impact in my life.

2. Create a morning routine. And make it a relaxing one. That could include some of the things below, such as exercise, a hot bath, or quiet working time. For me, it means getting up earlier so I\’m not so rushed, and then doing little rituals (like having a quiet cup of coffee and reading) that will ensure I start the day perfectly.

3. Prepare the night before. An evening routine is also essential to starting your day right. This might include things like choosing your three Most Important Tasks for the next day, so you know what you\’re going to do when you wake up. It might mean getting your clothes ready. For me, it includes getting a jump start on prepping my kids\’ lunches, so it\’s just about done before my day even starts.

4. Start the day with a relaxing shower or bath. I like a hot shower, but if you have time, a good bath can be a perfect way to start off the day. It gets you in a relaxed mood, which is much better than starting the day stressed out.

5. Get in some morning exercise. I don\’t get to exercise every single morning, but I do it on a majority of mornings. A nice morning run is a wonderful thing for me. It relaxes me, and gives me a sense of well being and accomplishment.

6. Work when it\’s quiet. I like to do work early in the morning, when everyone is sleeping. For others, that might be late at night instead. Whatever works best for you. When I was working in an office, I liked to get in before everyone else, so that I could get in some solid work before things got busy. I would also work during lunch while everyone else was out - I just liked the quiet. I would eat two smaller lunches before and after the normal lunch hour. Getting in early also allowed me to leave early, so that I could spend time with my kids or get in some evening exercise.

7. Create a clutter-free environment. This is key for me, as you might also know by now. I like my desk clear of any clutter. Right now, the only thing on my desk is my iMac (I\’m paperless now). But it\’s OK to have a couple family pictures or an inbox, but too much stuff it just visual distraction. Clear your walls of everything but a nice picture or other art piece or two. Clutter-free surroundings create a peaceful working environment.

8. Turn off the distractions. That means phones, email notification, instant messaging, anything that will break into your focus and make you jump from one thing to another.

9. Cut back on your commitments. Evaluate all the things you\’ve got going on in your life, and see what isn\’t essential. This means choosing 4-5 essential things in your life, and trying to eliminate the rest over time.

10. Cut out meetings. If you have the ability to opt out of meetings, do so. They are generally a waste of time. Sure, it\’s possible that a meeting is the most productive way to do something, but it\’s rarely done. Usually the point of a meeting could be accomplished with email, or an IM. Cutting out meetings could free up a lot of time and make your workday more relaxed.

11. Single-task. For me, focus is everything. Writing this article would take twice as long, and be much less peaceful, if I was constantly interrupted, if I was constantly switching between this and email and surfing the web and other tasks I have to do. I like to focus on one task at a time, if possible, and really lose myself in the writing.

12. Take breaks and stretch. While focusing on one task at a time is important, it\’s also important to take breaks when you can. Get up, stretch, get a glass of water. Massage your shoulders, neck and head. It keeps you relaxed throughout the day.

13. Go for a walk. I also like to take a break and go for a walk. It helps me get perspective, to think, to get a better overall picture on my workday and my life. Plus it gets the blood circulating.

14. Eat lunch in quiet. I\’m kind of a shy guy, and while many people do lunch meetings, I would rather eat at my desk with a good book or take my sack lunch to a park for a peaceful, meditative eating break.

15. Do mini-meditations. This doesn\’t require a mat or a temple or soothing tapes or anything. Just sit where you are, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing - on your breath as it comes into your body, and then goes out. This helps me to center myself, no matter what is going on with work.

16. Learn to focus on the present. Related to the mini-meditations and single-tasking. Basically, instead of worrying about what you have to do in the future, and instead of reliving things you did in the past, focus on what you\’re doing right now. This can be difficult, as our minds have a tendency to wander to other things, but it\’s simply a matter of practice - be aware of where your mind is, and when it drifts to other things, gently bring it back to the present. This helps keep your mind in a peaceful place all day long.

17. Roll with the punches. There will always be things that go wrong. What is important is how we react to them - do we go all Drama Queen, and get stressed and upset? Or do we accept what has happened, and make a calm decision about what to do now? When things get overwhelming, take a step back to get some perspective, and realize that in a few months, none of this will really matter much - and then take steps to eliminate the non-essential and focus on what\’s really important.

“There\’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” - Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

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Procrastination unfortunately seems to be connected to laziness, lack of desire or just plain - “there\’s always tomorrow.” I have a strong suspicion procrastination is also connected to fear, uncertainty, hopelessness, and feeling alone. At these times, deciding what to do can seem like a huge mountain to climb. You can overcome procrastination by taking some steps to learn the essentials of decision making.

One of my clients can\’t make decisions. I didn\’t say won\’t. I said can\’t. Our unique brains when under pressure produce an enzyme that literally blocks our ability to make choices. We affectionately call it, “brain freeze.” Therefore, decision making and prioritizing presents problems which are directly related to procrastination.

Making choices usually entails the many options ADDers have. Job opportunities, new direction, learning to play guitar, get hip-hop dancing lessons, go figure out your sock draw. (I need to separate the blues from the blacks from the browns!) We become overwhelmed by so many choices we get stuck not doing any. The days turn into weeks and the rest. The result: we feel inadequate and maybe lazy.

Why do ADD people have difficult to make choices? This is in direct proportion to the amount of stress and negative self-talk you are experiencing.

In order to overcome procrastination you must first know how to make a decision that supports what you want.

In order to make a decision you need to:

1. Accept that each choice lives and occupies its own world. This world we will call a domain of action.

2. We now need to empty this vessel called our brain. To this you can write them down, talk to someone else or record into a tape recorder or anyway you can get all these thoughts and action domains out. (Is it paying the bills, getting the kids to school, getting my sock draw in order?)

3. We are looking at the essence. What is paying bills about? MONEY. Getting kids to school is about FAMILY. Getting my sock draw in order is ORGANIZATION. Many things to do - TIME MANAGEMENT.

4. Domains can overlap. TIME MANAGEMENT may be connected to MONEY.

To make a choice; to overcome procrastination gather more information. I guarantee you don\’t have enough information to make the choice.

To gather information in order to make a choice:

1. Seek support from those people that accept you as whole and complete; your ADD Coach, friends, family. Do not isolate. Participate. Health is a function of participation.

2. Ask for help from people who are good in their domain. For MONEY, you might want to speak with an accountant or an organizer or a financial advisor.

3. Research what might be needed. How much time does it actually take to drive my kids to school? How long does it take me to get the kids ready?

4. Work backwards from the result you want. In this case, getting my kids to school on time.

5. Know there are no mistakes; only learning experiences. Albert Einstein learned every time his theory was challenged.

6. Accept that it takes practice over time. Have fun learning.

Our issues usually have to do with de-cluttering our thoughts. We have so many domains of action working at the same time, we can become overwhelmed. When this happens - collapsing of domains, we suffer, worry, criticize and generally do not feel good about ourselves.

You don\’t need to suffer. That\’s a promise. This information can assist you to work through your challenges. Your ability to make choices can be a source of your independence and success.

Frank Coppola is an ADD Coach, who specializes in helping people overcome procrastination, gain focus, and manage their time. You can download a FREE copy of his special report Crack The ADD Code at: http://www.CrackTheAddCode.com